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William Shakespeare once said, “When I saw you I fell in love, and you smiled because you knew.” Yeah, that’s nice but sometimes you want something a little racier. Carefully selected from our 2016 Valentine’s Gift Guide, these five suggestive gifts will leave your valentine knowing just how passionate you’re feeling.
Perfume, for the Naturalist
Julianne Zaleta gathers flowers, dries blossoms, conjures scents and mixes soaps so that you will smell your best in your birthday suit this Valentine’s Day. Catering to the pure at heart, her company, Herbal Alchemy Apothecary, carries these handcrafted artisanal scents and potions from the purest elements of nature.
A Lamp, but Not Just Any Lamp
Meet Mr. P, the “P” being for propaganda, of course, and not any other word that starts with the letter “P.” This lamp would make a unique addition to any bedroom, ready to shed some light on your big day—Valentine’s Day, that is.
Shoes, Not Made for Walkin’
If your Valentine buys these Black Ribbon Lace Stilettos for you, don’t expect a matching dress. The good news is that Valentine’s Day does fall on Sunday this year so you could wear them to church and then, well. Is that a sin?
A Plate, to Advise
In case you forgot what your mamma taught you about the birds and the bees (whatever that might have been), we found a plate with two of the possibilities. Feed one another chocolate-covered strawberries, and then, after licking the plate, be advised.
A Phallic Sculpture, for Her Garden
This is definitely something you won’t find at the Home Depot – no siree! This hand-built, ceramic, phallus-shaped sculpture is waterproof and can be installed in dirt or on a stand. With support, it will stand even at a slight angle.
Like what you see here? Check out our other gifts designed to show your love in our Valentine’s Gift Guide.