Some wisdom from Urban Dictionary:
In the animal kingdom, the alpha male is the dominant member of the community. He’s like a cartoon caveman, commanding deference. The betas are wingmen, collaborative and conciliatory. In human terms, betas make the best mates. They do more in the house, and probably in the bedroom, because they know how to hasten the greater good.
Which is all we need to know.
If you’re in the Chicago area, hit up Pretty Clever’s Krrb corner. Once you’ve scored the shirt, finding a Mr Right to fill it should be child’s play.